Of course, it was in a dream, so it didn't really count.
In the dream, I was captured, being held naked in a small room back North in Wisconsin in the middle of the winter. The people who captured me were going to use me for sexual services, perhaps feminized, it wasn't exactly clear. What was clear is that this particular dream was absolutely horrific, no forced-femme type boner here at all. I decided that instead of succumbing to my fate, I'd crawl out into the 30 below weather, find a snowbank and let myself freeze to death.
There was more (there always is), but that's the part that stuck with me all the next day. Wondering what that dream said about me, about my unusual hobbies, and the fact that I hadn't really done much with those hobbies for a while. Was I, so to speak, cured? And what of my dream self?
Then the very next night I had a much fuzzier dream, but I remember it had the following elements: a party in which I was requested to come dressed as I pleased, a very pretty and passable TS, a bit of embrassment that I had misplaced all my girl stuff so I couldn't really join in, but even so, they accepted me and I had a wild makeout session with the TS.
I'm not sure what, if anything, to make out of having these dreams.
To keep the theme of songs by really pissed-off women, I am embedding a youtube video of one of my favorite songs. It's a song that DeeDee would like to teach to the maids in her more seditious frame of mind. The singer here does a great job, that smile looks downright evil.
Next, I would like some comment of some sort to know if anyone is reading this. I know that sounds like of those "if you don't comment, I'm going to quit!" whines, but really I don't know if anyone is looking here. If no one is reading, then I'll have to find somewhere else to babble.
And in case anyone gets the idea that I'm all bout the evil and hardcore, here's a link to a really good TG themed comic, The Wotch. It's about as light hearted as anything on the planet, here's an example.
http://www.thewotch.com/?epDate=2003-04-11
and
http://www.thewotch.com/?date=2003-01-06
Don't you wish you had Anne for a sister?
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Hi Dee,
ReplyDeleteOf course, there are those that are reading this. With me, it is I write because I must and I really do not care if anyone reads it or takes anything away from it.
As for dreams, I have concluded that they are made up of random synaptic firings that come together in strange ways to produce something outside of or beyond our experience. There is an element of focus to it, as sometimes out last thoughts of the day can skew our dreams or sometimes a thought within our dream can alter its course. I am something of a film freak, so my dreams are always rather cinematic, complete with dissolves and wipes, and occasional arty black and white segments with only a single thing in color. Trying to make sense of dreams is an interesting exercise, but it never really satisfies. I see them as entertainment, even the unpleasant ones, and deeper meanings may or may not be found, but ultimately they are not essential to the enjoyment. Yours were certainly interesting, and you may have found them disturbing, but they offer an opportunity the hidden spots in our mind and drag them out into the light where they eventually cease to hold sway. I no longer have nightmares, because I have examined all my dark places and made peace with them. I hope you arrive at a similar space one day.
Cheers
Well, I know I'm reading this too. And I'm sure plenty others are, even more so now your link is on the LiL home page. A lot of people, probably the majority, are happy to be nosy and read without uttering a word. You can see that for a number of the threads in LiL's OOC area for instance - some threads have very few replies, or even none, and yet still get tons of views. Perhaps you should put a hit counter on here if you're curious to see how many are looking in. You'll probably be surprised.
ReplyDeleteAs for dreams, I don't often remember mine. As you know, I have tried keeping a dream diary in the past, but just can't get into the habit of it, usually because they just fade from my mind the instant I wake up. Only the most bizarre or disturbing ones tend stick in my mind - my earliest memory being a dream I had as a kid, being stuck in my house while it was on fire, and all the door and window handles disappearing as I tried to use every possible exit! But yeah, I agree with Gal that it's just the brain blasting random thoughts all over the place, as it deals with what you may have experienced the previous day, along with anything else it feels like bringing forward. I think it's easy to over-interpret these things, but that's just me. Others may disagree I guess. I personally wouldn't dwell on them too much, as dreams can't tell your future or change your past, and it's your conscious self that has control over what you do every waking moment. In any case, as Gal says, I hope you find a point with yourself where you're happy, that's the important thing.